We all know that families these days come in many different shapes and sizes. Gone are the days when a “family” was defined as a mother, father, and two children. Blended families are increasingly common, and for them, Life and Legacy Planning is critical.

A “blended family” comes into being when a single parent remarries. While everyone may get along effortlessly while the parent is alive, that too often doesn’t happen once the parent dies. This is a stark reminder that the law still hasn’t caught up with our modern definition of “family.” The law often favors the spouse, which works well when the spouse and the deceased have children together. But when the deceased parent has children from another marriage, the children can (and often are) cut out of their inheritance, a potential risk that should not be taken lightly. 

Other than the law being slow to catch up, there are a few more reasons why this happens:

• The parent trusts the new spouse entirely and can’t comprehend the spouse ever doing anything to harm the children;
• The new spouse may place their interest ahead of the children’s – or have children from a first marriage and want them to benefit instead; or
• The parent has not been educated about what could happen when they die and hasn’t consulted with a competent attorney. A qualified attorney can guide you through the complexities of estate planning, ensuring your wishes are carried out and your legacy is protected, providing you with the peace of mind you deserve.

A True (and Common) Nightmare

In a recent marketwatch.com article, a woman shared her heart-wrenching story. Her father owned several properties, including the house she lived in as a child. He remarried, and when his health started to decline, her stepmother made financial moves so he could qualify for government healthcare benefits under the Medicaid program. Whereas Medicaid is a needs-based program (meaning, you only qualify if you can’t afford to pay), many people with means can take advantage of legal maneuvers and set their assets aside so they qualify. Doing this keeps assets protected for the next generation. 

However, to qualify for Medicaid, Dad had to transfer his assets to someone else while he was alive. That “someone else” was Stepmom. Apparently, she convinced Dad it was the right move and that she could be trusted with his properties. Dad eventually died, and so at the time of his death, Stepmom owned all of his properties, including the childhood home. Stepmom went on a selling spree, cashing in on them all. 

And guess where the money went? If you guessed Stepmom and HER daughter, you’d be right. Dad’s children from his first marriage got nothing.

Surely That’s Not Legal…

You may think that’s a horribly unfair outcome – so bad that it must be illegal. But it’s not. It’s completely legal. Once Stepmom owned the properties, she was free to do anything she wanted with them. She deliberately chose to give her stepchildren none of the proceeds, and under the law, she had the absolute right to do so. The children had no recourse; they’d lose in court. 

And so we’re left to wonder: is this the outcome Dad wanted? Could he have foreseen Stepmom was capable of cutting out his children? And did he know there was another way he could have protected them and still qualified for government benefits? With education from a trusted lawyer, would he have done anything differently?

How to Ensure Your Children Are Spared From the Potential Consequences

If you want to avoid the same tragic consequences, there are some steps you can take:

1. Don’t Be Afraid of the Inevitable: Benjamin Franklin is quoted as saying, “Nothing is certain but death and taxes,” and he was half right (you can delay or avoid estate taxes with careful estate planning, but that’s a topic for another article). Death is certain. Yet we’re all uncomfortable talking about death, much less planning for it. Accept death as a reality and make plans while you can.

2. Hold a Family Meeting: Having a heart-to-heart about your wishes, values, and goals can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings after you pass away. 

3. Educate Yourself: The most critical thing you can do is educate yourself, and educate yourself now. Don’t rely on the internet. Laws differ from state to state, families are different, assets are handled in various ways, and the internet won’t consider all these factors. 

4. Work With a Lawyer Who Understands Your Family Dynamics: One size doesn’t fit all when planning for life and death matters like these! What works for one family might not work for yours. You need a tailored plan to fit your unique needs. You deserve, and your family deserves, to have a plan that works when your family needs it. That’s why you need a trusted, heart-centered attorney who will appreciate your unique situation and educate you so you’re empowered to put the right plan in place. Your family’s future depends on it.

We Can Help

Your loved ones don’t have to face tragic circumstances when you pass. With honest conversations, proper education, and guidance from a trusted attorney, you can create a plan that keeps the peace and ensures your loved ones are taken care of just the way you want. 

To learn more about how we approach estate planning from the heart and yet with all the strategies you need to keep your assets in the family, schedule a complimentary 15-minute call with our office.  Contact us today to get started.

This article is a service of Juniper Law, a Personal Family Lawyer® Firm. We don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love. That’s why we offer a Life & Legacy Planning™ Session, during which you will get more financially organized than you’ve ever been before and make all the best choices for the people you love. 

The content is sourced from Personal Family Lawyer® for use by Personal Family Lawyer® firms, a source believed to be providing accurate information. This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.